Living in a World Beyond a Binary God
Sandra K. Squires, Ed.D. | EfM Coordinator, Diocese of Nebraska
Living in a World Beyond a Binary God:
Stories and Challenges of our Trans Neighbors1
an EfM Zoom event presented by the Episcopal Diocese of Nebraska
Why this topic? Why now?
When I learned that Tara K. Soughers’s book, Beyond a Binary God: A Theology for Trans*Allies, would be included as an EfM interlude book this year, I started thinking about my own experiences with friends and colleagues who are transgender individuals or the family members I know of trans men or women. In the early 2000’s, when I was in my late 50’s, I knew two transgender women who were transitioning at roughly my age. One was a university colleague and was very public about her transition which drew state and national attention. The other was spouse of a friend, and her approach to transitioning was shrouded in secrecy. A few years later a young trans man who had been one of my favorite kids to work with in the youth program in Nebraska, came to church on a short visit home after his transition. I could tell he was waiting for my reaction, and I smiled with joy at seeing him and hugged him before our having a short conversation. His mom, Heidi, and I have had several conversations about her writing as a way to process Jay’s transition. She is the trans ally on our panel.
During the 2023 Nebraska State legislative session, there was a bill proposed to limit all medical care to transgender minors. My state representative, Senator Machaela Cavanaugh and Senator Megan Hunt, mother of a transgender child, filibustered the Unicameral to stop this effort to limit care to transgender children. I followed this legislative process closely, and despite their efforts, a bill passed late last session limiting gender affirming care to trans youth. Both Senators are resilient, and their efforts have awakened many in our State to rise up in support of trans people in Nebraska. I have hope.
As these thoughts were swirling around me, I kept coming back to this as a theme for our annual Zoom-based EfM event. So, I contacted the Bishop and Canon to get their reactions to this as the topic, that of focusing on transgender issues. They were both positive about the idea, and the Bishop even recommended contacting his son-in-law who is a trans man. As I was thinking about possible speakers, and shortly after the enthusiastic support of the Bishop and Canon, I received an email from a local Episcopal priest who I have known for most of her life, another friend and beloved person from the youth program. In October 2023, she came out in a letter to her congregation and to a broader circle of friends and family about her transition. It was the final confirmation that this topic was God-sent. I wrote back to her that I would always love her, and asked ‘by-the-way would you be willing to be included in planning this EfM event?’ Toni said ‘yes’ as did Cameron, our panel is complete!
The presenters for our EfM event, Toni, Cameron, and Heidi, each has a story to tell as either a trans person or as an ally. We met in person over lasagna with these three and a friend in my age group (late 70’s) whose late spouse had transitioned. My friend was not comfortable going forward with being public about her experience which she still associates with a lot of shame and secrecy. My university colleague and I have talked, we have her blessing for this event, but she is not in good health, and will serve as a consultant only.
This started out with a simple objective--to provide accurate information and stories of trans neighbors and their families to those in our Episcopal community. The goal has always been to inform and offer hope that we will come away as more knowledgeable, learn some of the language associated with the trans community, and make more compassionate space for our trans neighbors and friends in a Christian community.
So, where is God in all of this?
As I focus on the planning of this event and how we got to this point of making it a reality, I found myself as a trans ally relating to Eli’s part of Samuel’s call from God, and especially this sentence, which I often skip over, spoke to me, “The word of the Lord was rare in those days; visions were not widespread.” (1 Samuel 3:1b) There has been so much rhetoric about trans issues, no matter what a person’s political views. Often this verbal and emotional static has interfered with my listening and hearing what God is calling me to do. Hearing God’s word seems as rare as it was in Samuel and Eli’s time. In the story of Samuel’s calling, he kept hearing a call, turned to Eli each time, and was repeatedly sent back to bed, before finally Eli, the aging priest, realized Samuel was being called by God. It took a few times before Eli understood. Until then, he could only tell Samuel to go back and lie down, which wasn’t helping Samuel. Only when it finally dawned on Eli who was calling, could he see what was going on and become Samuel’s ally.
I feel like I have been on a path like Eli’s, of finally getting the message of what I, as a trans ally, am being called to do in this moment and at this time—to remember the stories of my friendships, to gain greater understanding through reading and listening to others’ stories, and to be an active trans ally. My call has been like Eli’s, which in my case is to support trans men, women, and non-binary folks, and make sure their stories are told and listened to with respect in the Christian community in my little corner of the world. I am called quite simply to listen and be supportive, to be worthy of being called an ally.
If you are interested in learning more about making trans folk welcome in a Christian community, a good step is to join us at our EfM Zoom Event on February 10.
LINK HERE to register.
This is the theme for our 4th annual Zoom-EfM event which is open to all. Space is limited.